The ChangingMinds Blog!

ChangingMinds Blog! > Blog Archive > 30-Sep-10

Friday 30-September-10

Second-hand support

When you're seeking to impress others, sell something or just build trust, one of the most powerful methods you can use is to leverage other people who your target already trusts.

All salespeople know the power of references. If you can say ''Jeff Mutley said you'd want to hear this" then there's a good chance they will listen, if not for you then for Jeff. The same principle can be used in all kinds of situations.

Another method of gaining a person's trust is to praise them, saying how much you like them, things they have done, what they are wearing and so on. We like people who like us and will be more ready to do business with them. A potential problem with this is that they may see this less as genuine admiration and more as cynical manipulation, with the result that you may cause the reverse of what you intended as they retreat or attack you.

A novel combination of these two methods on this is to praise people the other person likes. It avoids the problem where they see praise as ingratiation and doesn't need a reference from the other person.

You can praise their friends, the musicians they like, business leaders and so on. Of course you need to find out who these people are and what the person thinks of them, but with judicious questions and careful listening you can subtly create a good impression without appearing obvious.